My heart breaks into a million, tiny pieces.

I breathe in. I breathe out.

It’s like a few of those tiny pieces are picked up and fixed back within where my heart once stood.

But when I  think about it again…

I breathe in. I breathe out.

And a cycle continues.

I tell myself to stop thinking of the dreadful things that had happened.

But my brain tells itself something different.

It tells itself to run through that cycle all over again.

I can not take it any longer.

The first tear falls slowly.

I tell myself to stop. This is unlike me.

But then the next follows.

Small episodes of unbearable memories flash in my head.

It pangs with pain with all the stress of thinking.

To the day that I dread. The day that I could have stopped everything from happening.

I knew she was sick. Sweat had been trickling down from her forehead down to her neck. Her skin was pale almost as if she were to be invisible and run away from whatever illness she had been dealing with. You could see the thin veins popping out from the top of her hands. Her blue eyes had spread with fear and the blank impression on her face said it all.

But I did not think much of it.

It had only looked like a cold that would soon be passed and forgotten.

But it never did.

Each day passed by. She became weaker and weaker to the point where she couldn’t stand up. Energy was washed away from her mouth. Words stopped flying out of her mouth. I never heard my name from her again.

I never saw her sit up, or walk again. Her body was still. Her eyes were always fixed to the television with varying colors flashing against her pale skin.

My selfishness got the best of me. I left for the long hours of work just to make money for myself.

Never even bothering to check if she would ever be okay.

I could have used that money for a doctor.

Every time I think of something I could have done to make everything better my head throbs with guilt and pain.

Now she’s gone. All I think of is how it’s my fault.

After this memory to clear my worries temporarily before I recall another of her, all I can do is breathe in and out.

I wish I could ask for forgiveness.

All is done. All is too late.

I take another breath.

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