I am Mariam
I am the twinkling stars shining in the night sky with great anticipation to be admired.
I wonder if the stars will begin to connect and form constellations that will lead me to the direction of my long awaited future.
I hear the loud whispers of undesirable features that I may have lingering above my head.
I see my smile beginning to fade as I stand in front of a large, standing mirror when I believe all of the greatest things are about to end.
I want to go back into my past to relive my biggest, unwanted regrets, to follow my dreams instead of making excuses from them to happen.
I am the twinkling stars shining in the night sky with great anticipation to be admired.
I pretend that I’m singing on a stage to make myself realize the more confidence that I must portray.
I feel my long luscious locks flowing deeply into the wind, like the warm compassion that I have flowing into another one’s heart.
I touch the grass from the cool earth, slowly plucking each strand from the rich soil, like carefully choosing when or when not to speak.
I worry that all what I put within my heart and soul may never be enough.
I cry to try to stop the best things from ending.
I am the twinkling stars shining in the night sky with great anticipation to be admired.
I understand the mistakes that I have made and have learned from them along the way.
I say I want to be my best, even though something may be pulling me back down, but I continue push myself to my highest point.
I dream of the endless, tranquil ocean, like sitting peacefully recalling countless thoughts and memories.
I try to muster a smile and stay positive even on the gloomiest of days.
I hope my talents of my artistic and physical abilities would one day be recognized for the world to see.
I am the twinkling stars shining in the night sky with great anticipation to be admired.
I am Mariam
ExquisitelyBeautiful has been a name that expresses who I am as a person. I delicately try to my best by avoiding mistakes and getting rid of any of those imperfections, as seen in my poem. I improve myself beautifully and to the best of my ability to make it the experience of my accomplishments worth while and long lasting. I decided to choose the theme of the mountains with the starry night sky to express my love for the outdoors, it allows for a sense of escape and love outside of my usual boundaries. The quote that I have chosen “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”- Jayne Eyre, represents my willingness to express my identity with no one in my way to trap me from it. I hope as I write every new piece in my blog that I’m able to improve and learn from the mistakes that I have made and improve from it.
Source of Image: https://gfycat.com/amusingwatchfuleft
Dear Mariam,
I absolutely loved this piece! I thought every line had a raw, honest voice behind it & really allowed the reader to build a connection to you, regardless of how well they knew you beforehand. I especially loved the line, “I cry to try to stop the best things from ending.”. I thought it not only had beautiful diction, but made the reader want to know you more & continue reading!
For improvement, all I can really say is watch the tense you’re using. For example, in the line “I hope my talents of my artistic and physical abilities would one day be recognized for the world to see.”, you switched between past, present and future tense. In a piece this amazing, this is only a minor adjustment, and something I am guilty of myself!!
To end, I just want to tell you again how much I truly loved this piece! Felt like I got to know you a little better & can’t wait to read more pieces!
Sincerely, Alyna <3
Dear Alyna,
Thank you for reading my post and getting back to me! I am very glad that you liked my work, and it has made me so much more confident to write better posts in the future. These minor improvements will really allow me to create better work and I appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Mariam
Dear Mariam,
All I can say is WOW! This was an extraordinary piece and I’m so glad I learned more about you through it. Your writing is phenomenal and the words you chose really blew me away. I love the images you painted and I can tell you really like to express yourself with things relating to mother nature and it brings out this gorgeous beauty in your work. I felt very inspired after reading this and it made me feel very strong and invincable after too becasue you have some very well built and empowering sentences in here. It shows how much time and effort you put into making your analogies and methaphors perfect. I applaud you for that.
As I mentioned earlier, I love everything about this page. Apart from a few minor gumps, I think you could experience with creating different sentence lenghts as that will provoke/engage the reader and hold their attention in every line they read. I think that would be an ideal way to convey the message or connections your trying to make within your writting.
I really appreciate the thorough and concise effort you put into this About Me. I absolutely can’t wait to read more pieces from you in the future!
Sincerely,
Arzoo
Dear Arzoo,
Thank you for reading my piece and getting back to me, I really appreciate it! I am glad that you like my work, it makes me so much more confident to create better work in my future posts. The advice you have given me will really help me improve my writing.
Sincerely,
Mariam
Dear Mariam,
Your writing has left me speechless! Your use of syntax and diction is phenomenal and there is great usage in all parts of your poem. My favourite part of your poem is ” I wonder if the stars will begin to connect and form constellations that will lead me to the direction of my long awaited future.” It is a great metaphor to use and it emphasizes and adds to your repeated sentence. Your writing has a depth of thinking to it which allows me to better understand you.
The part that you could work on is proofreading and ensuring that your writing is free from grammatical and punctuation errors like in the sentence, “I say I want to be my best, even though something may be pulling me back down, but I continue push myself to my highest point.” There should be a “to” before “push myself”.
Regardless, your writing really has told me quite a bit about yourself and I look forward to reading your next pieces.
Sincerely,
Zain
Dear Zain,
Thank you for reading my piece and getting back to me! I’m glad that you liked it, and I will work on adding the the improvements of my writing that you gave me into my future posts.
Sincerely,
Mariam
Dear Mariam,
This piece is just so beautiful, each line in your poem had its own depth. The line “I am the twinkling stars shining in the night sky with great anticipation to be admired.”, was honestly my favourite. I have known you for a while now, and I never knew you could write poems with so much grace. Keep on with this work, because you are very capable. And I cannot wait to read your future posts.
Sincerely,
Dikshitha
Dear Dikshitha,
Thank you for reading my piece. I am glad that you liked it and your kind words have allowed to become more confident in my writing.
Sincerely,
Mariam