The Last Time

7 AM

The sun rose for the final time…

Slowly coming up further and further into the dawn sky, we saw vivid morning colors of orange, purple, and pink spreading along the horizon. None of us took our eyes off of it, and no one looked back because we wanted to capture every last memory of what would no longer be ours. Many of us sit on the wooden surface of our front porch, coffee in hand sipping away, having one last touch of our surroundings. No one cries. We are at the stage of accepting our fate and our reality. The presence of earth decides to end during the summer days when laughter echoes amid the sultry air. We wash it off in the ice-cold swimming pool and drink lemonade. We did not want to give that up just yet, but only in a moment of hours, the world could just decide to shut down with everyone in it. All of humanity will soon be erased. I can feel my pulse quicken every so often at the back of my neck, hoping, pleading that this day will never go to rest, but we all knew that this was going to be inevitable.

10 AM

Too many long, painful hours have passed. We are too frightened to make a move. Who knows, the destruction of everyone could be at any minute. Every passing second on the clock could possibly lead to our demise. We had to call off all meetings and interviews, we decided that we had nowhere important to go. With the world ending everything felt so insignificant. Everything felt like it was dying and slowly withering away in our eyes. “Why now?”, We all ask. “Why today?”. A lot of us still had plans for the future, major things we wanted to succeed in or accomplish, but obviously, life was not going to let that happen with the world deteriorating. With these thoughts swirling in our heads, we can all hear the collective pound of our hearts, roaring loudly. Community is the only thing we can maintain at such a devastating time where we used to be able to fix almost everything, but this came to be unsolvable.

12 PM 

Nothing seemed to have changed within the last two hours. Everybody panics silently trying to hide their faces, but we could still see the anguish and pain laid on their faces.

3 PM 

Time seems to be passing by slowly as we wait. Death is near and to remove this thought we find other things to occupy our mind. A lot of us stay outside breathing in the fresh air. This is the final time where we get to stay outdoors. Children ride bicycles. They are the only ones who are not aware of the dangers that are about to come. I wish I was in their position, children never have to worry about anything. We don’t even know how this world is going to end, but we brace together and hold on tight to our possible final hours of this day. We are too distracted in our lives to even pay attention to the television we watch or the books we try to read. We just appreciate the little aspects of nature, such as the daisies growing through the rich ground and the mountains that climb tall from afar.

6 PM

We are still holding on…

7 PM

We begin to hear the earth rupturing beneath us. Holding hands, praying to see another day. The breakage of Earth lasts for a good forty-five minutes until we reach our final destination…

 

 

4 thoughts on “The Last Time

  1. Dear Mariam,

    Wow…you had me hooked from the first sentence. The first paragraph holds such a strong feeling of glumness and a sort of disturbing peace. I love the detail of everyone trying to enjoy their last day even though they know what’s coming, as well as the part about children having fun and being oblivious to everything. It’s really impressive that got so many emotions in here without really describing the way this is all happening, just that it is, and without establishing actual characters. They’re just humans, and that’s enough.

    Really, the only thing I’d say is I would include more about the people that aren’t handling this well, that haven’t accepted the fact that they’re about to die. I think if this were a real situation, there would be people running around in the streets, drinking, crying, etc.

    Other than that, this was fantastic! Great job!

    – Anastasia 🙂

    • Dear Anastasia,

      I am very glad that you loved and enjoyed my piece! I will make sure to incorporate your suggestions for my writing pieces in the future.

      Sincerely,
      Mariam

  2. Dear Mariam,
    Wow! This left me speechless. I love the way you incorporated the time slots to essentially separate the suspense from the reader towards the end. I really love the ellipsis you have added to again create that suspicion between you and the reader and it had me hooked by the end. With the amount of emotions you put into this piece without even describing the character feelings which was beautifully written (Hopefully that made sense I’m just talking and admiring your work).

    As for feedback, I have nothing. You’ve done nothing but inspire me to write more. You are such an amazing writer, have I said that to you already? I hope to read more of your work in the future. (I’m sorry for commenting so late!!)

    Cheers,
    Amal

  3. Dear Mariam,

    This piece captivated me from the moment I saw how you used time-stamps to count down everyone’s final moments alive. As I kept reading, it amazed me how I also felt a looming sense of dread as if I was there in the moment, which speaks volumes to how descriptive your writing is. You managed to evoke a profound type of emotion from your story by highlighting the children’s innocence while the adults faced the inevitable, so great job on that!

    As for feedback, I would agree with Anastasia’s comment on how a more realistic situation would entail much more panic and hysterics, but I truly did enjoy reading your take on the last day spent alive on earth.

    Your writing never fails to impress!

    – Zarin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *